{"id":522,"date":"2009-11-30T22:15:36","date_gmt":"2009-12-01T05:15:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/biblicalcounselinginsights.com\/blog\/?p=522"},"modified":"2020-08-10T11:15:22","modified_gmt":"2020-08-10T18:15:22","slug":"why-is-my-marriage-in-a-state-of-conflict","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/biblicalcounselinginsights.com\/blog\/marriage-counseling\/why-is-my-marriage-in-a-state-of-conflict\/","title":{"rendered":"Cooperation in Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"

What do you believe\u00a0is the basis for building an effective relationship involving two or more people? 1 Corinthians 1:10 gives the answer. \u201cI beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment\u201d <\/em>(KJV).<\/p>\n

That\u2019s a picture of two people whose hearts are set on similar things,\u00a0their minds work together, their plans are the same, and their objectives are the same. That\u2019s cooperation, and that\u2019s how marriage should work.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

But the normal kind of relationship between two or more people today is competitive, not cooperative. One partner has an idea on how something should go, and the other partner has their idea on how it should go. Does that sound familiar?<\/p>\n

This condition is described in Isaiah 53:6 as selfishness. The actual verse says, \u201cAll we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way.\u201d<\/em> You can\u2019t build an effective relationship until you come to grips with this tendency of selfishness. Selfishness often happens whenever a decision has to be made between you and your partner. You don\u2019t even have to work at it.<\/p>\n

Talking it over, thinking there just needs to be more understanding, probably won\u2019t work. It can just solidify your opposition to the other\u2019s viewpoint, because the more you understand their viewpoint, the less you appreciate it. Maybe you try talking it over with friends. That too probably won\u2019t work, for the same reason that just you and your partner talking it over didn\u2019t work.<\/p>\n

So when it comes to you both trying ways of coming to the right decision, and none work, you have to face the fact that you\u2019ve hit a stalemate. You also have to face the fact that somebody has to have the last word and be the leader, or the problem won\u2019t be solved. That\u2019s a tough conclusion to come to, because even though you\u2019ve tried ways to solve the dilemma, nothing has really changed. Why? You each still want your own way. You are still competing.<\/p>\n

What is it that feeds\u00a0the competition you still find yourselves involved in? It\u2019s that selfish attitude that is still in control. Selfishness is the great hindrance to cooperation.<\/p>\n

But you don\u2019t need to be stuck there, in that spirit of selfishness. You just need a Savior. You need to surrender your competitive nature to God and let him give you an attitude of cooperation.<\/p>\n

Take a step . . .<\/strong><\/p>\n

Do you want your marriage to work? Then make the choice to invite Christ into your life and into your relationship. Ask Him to fill you with a spirit of cooperation and choose daily to approach your marriage in a cooperative way.<\/p>\n

This is a summary from Dr. Brandt\u2019s message Restoring Harmony in Marriage<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Want more? Click here\u2026<\/strong><\/h3>\n

><\/strong> Find life-changing insights arranged topically by need<\/a><\/p>\n

><\/strong> Listen to dynamic audio messages by Dr. Brandt<\/a><\/p>\n

><\/strong> Experience freedom and healing from sin problems<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What do you believe\u00a0is the basis for building an effective relationship involving two or more people? 1 Corinthians 1:10 gives the answer. \u201cI beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advgb_blocks_editor_width":"","advgb_blocks_columns_visual_guide":"","_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":""},"categories":[34,14],"tags":[91,103,101,84],"author_meta":{"display_name":"ddunn","author_link":"https:\/\/biblicalcounselinginsights.com\/author\/ddunn\/"},"featured_img":null,"coauthors":[],"tax_additional":{"categories":{"linked":["Marital Peace<\/a>","Successful Marriage<\/a>"],"unlinked":["Marital Peace<\/span>","Successful Marriage<\/span>"]},"tags":{"linked":["conflict<\/a>","cooperation<\/a>","marriage<\/a>","strife<\/a>"],"unlinked":["conflict<\/span>","cooperation<\/span>","marriage<\/span>","strife<\/span>"]}},"comment_count":"0","relative_dates":{"created":"Posted 12 years ago","modified":"Updated 1 year ago"},"absolute_dates":{"created":"Posted on November 30, 2009","modified":"Updated on August 10, 2020"},"absolute_dates_time":{"created":"Posted on November 30, 2009 10:15 pm","modified":"Updated on August 10, 2020 11:15 am"},"featured_img_caption":"","featured_image_src":null,"featured_image_src_square":null,"author_info":{"display_name":"ddunn","author_link":"https:\/\/biblicalcounselinginsights.com\/author\/ddunn\/"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/biblicalcounselinginsights.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/522"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/biblicalcounselinginsights.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/biblicalcounselinginsights.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biblicalcounselinginsights.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biblicalcounselinginsights.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=522"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/biblicalcounselinginsights.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/522\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8009,"href":"https:\/\/biblicalcounselinginsights.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/522\/revisions\/8009"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/biblicalcounselinginsights.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=522"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biblicalcounselinginsights.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=522"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biblicalcounselinginsights.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=522"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}