{"id":1356,"date":"2011-05-09T15:31:00","date_gmt":"2011-05-09T22:31:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/biblicalcounselinginsights.com\/blog\/?page_id=1356"},"modified":"2011-10-19T12:08:28","modified_gmt":"2011-10-19T19:08:28","slug":"5-steps-to-overcome-divisiveness","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/biblicalcounselinginsights.com\/attitudes-and-behaviors\/divisiveness-vs-harmony\/5-steps-to-overcome-divisiveness\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Steps to Overcome Divisiveness"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Are you struggling with a habit of being divisive? We have outlined a five-step process to help you change and heal in this area of your life. Take all the time you need with each of the steps below.<\/p>\n<h2>Step 1: Adopt a Correct View of God<\/h2>\n<p>When we are constant sources of conflict and strife, it is obvious that we are not truly seeing God for who He is. What aspects of your view of God may be influencing your conflict problem? The points listed below will help you begin the process of self-analysis.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>God is love; there is no place in His kingdom for conflict.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><em>We don\u2019t need to write to you about the importance of loving each other, for God Himself has taught you to love one another.<\/em> (1 Thessalonians 4:2)<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>God is merciful and He expects us to show mercy to others.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><em>Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other\u2019s faults because of your love. <\/em> (Ephesians 4:2)<\/p>\n<p>When you view God as a loving and merciful being, you will respond in like manner to those around you. Undertake a survey on the Bible\u2019s passages on God\u2019s peaceable nature. Tools such as a concordance and a topical Bible can help you in this task.<\/p>\n<h2>Step 2: Revise Your False Beliefs<\/h2>\n<p>What erroneous beliefs do you have that justify your combative spirit? Chances are, you have some false beliefs about yourself, about other people, and about how life works. Ask yourself the following questions:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Do you believe you must always correct others when they are wrong?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><em>Starting a quarrel is like opening a floodgate, so stop before a dispute breaks out.<\/em> (Proverbs 17:14)<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Do you believe you have the right to say spiteful things about others because of something they have said about you?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><em>Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.<\/em> (Romans 12:18)<\/p>\n<p>Continue your Bible study by examining what Scripture says about harmony and unity. As you do so, reconsider your beliefs, acknowledged or unspoken, that may have helped turn you into a fighter. Conform your thinking to God\u2019s truth.<\/p>\n<p><em><a href=\"http:\/\/biblicalcounselinginsights.com\/attitudes-and-behaviors\/divisiveness-vs-harmony\/5-steps-to-overcome-divisiveness\/2\/\">Continue to next page<\/a><\/em><br \/>\n<!--nextpage--><\/p>\n<h2>Step 3: Repent of Your Sin<\/h2>\n<p>What type of conflict are you engaged in? Is it gossip? Quarreling? Judgmentalism? Something else? Identify it specifically.<\/p>\n<p>After admitting your sin to yourself, admit it to God. Pray the following prayer of repentance (or pray in your own words):<\/p>\n<p>God, I am guilty of _________. It is sin, and I am sorry for it. Please forgive me for being a person of conflict and strife. Cleanse me of that sin, I pray. Then grant me some of Your power to keep from participating in conflict the next time the potential arises. And the next. And the next. In Christ\u2019s name, amen.<\/p>\n<p>If you have harmed others with your sin, apologize to them. Seek reconciliation and offer restitution where appropriate.<\/p>\n<h2>Step 4: Defend against Spiritual Attacks<\/h2>\n<p>Beware the world, the flesh, and the Devil, who will want to goad you into fighting again. They want nothing better than to see you contradict your repentance by returning to a pattern of conflict. Do not be naive about these foes!<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>In God\u2019s eyes, harmony among people is a high value. In the world system, though, conflict is seen as a way of getting what you want. Watch out for worldly values that would justify your sinful tendency toward conflict. Overcome the world by rejecting its values.<\/li>\n<li>God honors those who control their desires to say and do things that divide people. Your flesh, or sinful nature, however, still enjoys the feeling of power that comes from mixing it up with people. Do not forget that the sinful nature has been crucified and that you do not have to give in to its desires. Give in to the Spirit instead.<\/li>\n<li>God provides a way out of every situation where you would be tempted to spread strife. Satan, on the other hand, gladly points out each opportunity you have to fight, gossip, and judge. Resist his schemes with the \u201cshoes of peace\u201d and the rest of the spiritual armor (see Ephesians 6:10\u201318).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Remain alert to any temptation that would draw you back into your sin of conflict. Seek the resources offered by God to defend against the attacks when they come. Those resources are more than enough to beat back all attacks.<\/p>\n<p><em><a href=\"http:\/\/biblicalcounselinginsights.com\/attitudes-and-behaviors\/divisiveness-vs-harmony\/5-steps-to-overcome-divisiveness\/3\/\">Continue to next page<\/a><\/em><br \/>\n<!--nextpage--><\/p>\n<h2>Step 5: Flee Temptation<\/h2>\n<p>If you do not want to give in to the temptation of conflict, get away from it as fast as you can!<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Focus <\/strong>on your relationship with God.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>You get into conflict when you focus on what others have done to upset you. So instead, keep your focus on God and His peace-loving nature. Learn to jump right into prayer when a situation arises that makes you want to fight.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Latch<\/strong> on to God\u2019s promises.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Find encouraging words in the Scriptures that you can learn from and memorize for times when you are inclined to jump into the fray. Psalm 133 is one eligible passage.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><em>How wonderful and pleasant it is\u00a0when brothers live together in harmony. For harmony is as precious as the anointing oil\u00a0that was poured over Aaron\u2019s head,\u00a0that ran down his beard and\u00a0onto the border of his robe. Harmony is as refreshing as the dew from Mount Hermon\u00a0that falls on the mountains of Zion. And the Lord has pronounced his blessing,\u00a0even life everlasting.<\/em><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Establish<\/strong> safeguards.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Are there certain things that trigger your tendency to sin through conflict? Of course there are. Take practical precautions to avoid those triggering situations. These are the kinds of things you can try:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">\u2022 \u00a0If you like to gossip, avoid people who pass on juicy tidbits to you in the first place.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">\u2022 \u00a0If you start arguments when your spouse criticizes something in your behavior, try harder to meet his or her expectations.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">\u2022 \u00a0If you joined a committee and seem to always be the center of conflict, resign the committee.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">\u2022 \u00a0Ask a trusted Christian friend to hold you accountable in your commitment to not participate in conflict.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Expect <\/strong>victory.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Every day is a new day. Though you may have slipped into conflict regularly in the past, you can now become a peacemaker with the help of the Prince of Peace. Thank God in advance for the victory He will give.<\/p>\n<p><em><a href=\"http:\/\/biblicalcounselinginsights.com\/attitudes-and-behaviors\/divisiveness-vs-harmony\/\">Return to Divisiveness vs. Harmony<\/a><\/em><br \/>\n<!-- Google Code for Completed Article Conversion Page --><br \/>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" height=\"1\" width=\"1\" alt=\"\" src=\"http:\/\/www.googleadservices.com\/pagead\/conversion\/1066729745\/imp.gif?label=mvu3CKOQ1wIQkYLU_AM&amp;guid=ON&amp;script=0\"\/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are you struggling with a habit of being divisive? We have outlined a five-step process to help you change and heal in this area of your life. Take all the time you need with each of the steps below. Step 1: Adopt a Correct View of God When we are constant sources of conflict and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"parent":1348,"menu_order":15,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"advgb_blocks_editor_width":"","advgb_blocks_columns_visual_guide":"","_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":""},"coauthors":[],"author_meta":{"author_link":"https:\/\/biblicalcounselinginsights.com\/author\/ddunn\/","display_name":"ddunn"},"relative_dates":{"created":"Posted 11 years ago","modified":"Updated 10 years ago"},"absolute_dates":{"created":"Posted on May 9, 2011","modified":"Updated on October 19, 2011"},"absolute_dates_time":{"created":"Posted on May 9, 2011 3:31 pm","modified":"Updated on October 19, 2011 12:08 pm"},"featured_img_caption":"","featured_img":false,"featured_image_src":null,"featured_image_src_square":null,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/biblicalcounselinginsights.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1356"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/biblicalcounselinginsights.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/biblicalcounselinginsights.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biblicalcounselinginsights.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biblicalcounselinginsights.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1356"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/biblicalcounselinginsights.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1356\/revisions"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biblicalcounselinginsights.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1348"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/biblicalcounselinginsights.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1356"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}