Maybe you struggle with some of these emotions, feeling you have a right to them because of how you’ve been treated. But Ephesians goes on to say, “Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.”

Now being kind and forgiving someone is extremely difficult when your feelings aren’t so loving! However, at some point, even though you may not want to, you decide to try to love the one who has mistreated you. To your surprise, you discover that it doesn’t work! You can control what you say, the way you look at them, and the way you behave, but you can’t control your feelings. Why is that?

2 Corinthians 3:5-6 gives us an answer: “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God; Who also hath made us able ministers of the new testament; not of the letter, but of the Spirit, for the letter killeth, but the Spirit giveth life.” So yes, you can possibly control your behavior, and the way you talk, but you can’t control your spirit. The Christian life isn’t a matter of self-improvement, or will power, or determination, it’s a matter of a changed heart, and only God can change your heart!

Ask God to change your heart!

Take a step . . .
Ask God in prayer to show you the real condition of your heart. Admit to Him your wrong emotions, desires, and selfishness. Tell Him you’re sorry and ask Him to forgive and cleanse you. Ask Him to help you to submit to Him and to fill your heart with kindness, tenderheartedness, forgiveness, and love.

This summary is from Dr. Brandt’s message entitled Marriage.

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That’s a picture of two people whose hearts are set on similar things, their minds work together, their plans are the same, and their objectives are the same. That’s cooperation, and that’s how marriage should work.

But the normal kind of relationship between two or more people today is competitive, not cooperative. One partner has an idea on how something should go, and the other partner has their idea on how it should go. Does that sound familiar?

This condition is described in Isaiah 53:6 as selfishness. The actual verse says, “All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way.” You can’t build an effective relationship until you come to grips with this tendency of selfishness. Selfishness often happens whenever a decision has to be made between you and your partner. You don’t even have to work at it.

Talking it over, thinking there just needs to be more understanding, probably won’t work. It can just solidify your opposition to the other’s viewpoint, because the more you understand their viewpoint, the less you appreciate it. Maybe you try talking it over with friends. That too probably won’t work, for the same reason that just you and your partner talking it over didn’t work.

So when it comes to you both trying ways of coming to the right decision, and none work, you have to face the fact that you’ve hit a stalemate. You also have to face the fact that somebody has to have the last word and be the leader, or the problem won’t be solved. That’s a tough conclusion to come to, because even though you’ve tried ways to solve the dilemma, nothing has really changed. Why? You each still want your own way. You are still competing.

What is it that feeds the competition you still find yourselves involved in? It’s that selfish attitude that is still in control. Selfishness is the great hindrance to cooperation.

But you don’t need to be stuck there, in that spirit of selfishness. You just need a Savior. You need to surrender your competitive nature to God and let him give you an attitude of cooperation.

Take a step . . .

Do you want your marriage to work? Then make the choice to invite Christ into your life and into your relationship. Ask Him to fill you with a spirit of cooperation and choose daily to approach your marriage in a cooperative way.

This is a summary from Dr. Brandt’s message Restoring Harmony in Marriage.

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Have emotions such as anger, resentment, hate, hostility, bitterness and revenge entered your heart and mind? Have you become filled with an unforgiving spirit?

Unforgiveness can be a hidden disease. It can make you a prisoner within yourself.

The Bible says “If you forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will forgive you. If you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Heavenly Father forgive your trespasses” (Matthew 6:14-15, KJV).

That may seem harsh. But why shouldn’t God expect you to forgive those who have offended you, when He has forgiven you of so much?

Choosing to forgive is a choice of your will. When you make that choice your heart is then open and ready for the Lord’s cleansing.

Choosing not to forgive is also a choice of your will. But the door of your heart is then shut and God will not do His cleansing work.

When an unforgiving spirit lives inside you, it isn’t bothering those who have wronged you. They’ve gone on their way. But you are still holding onto something that has taken control of your thoughts, actions, and words. It eats away at you like a poisonous cancer, and you find yourself bound, with no peace. In reality, you are punishing yourself.

But to forgive in your own power is futile, because your heart must first be cleansed of all the things that unforgiveness creates. Only Jesus can make that happen. He laid down His life and shed His blood to give us the gift of salvation and clean up our hearts. Through Him, there is freedom and victory.

God says “Come unto Me, all you that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28, KJV). Isn’t rest what we long for when filled with the torture of an unforgiving spirit?

According to 1 John 1:9, ”If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (KJV). So why not invite Christ into your heart? Cast your cares upon Him. Let Him do the cleansing. Let Him take that unforgiving spirit out of your heart and give you a new heart with a forgiving spirit. You could pray a prayer like this: “Lord Jesus, forgive me for bearing a grudge toward the person who has wronged me. Come into my heart, take control of my life. Cleanse me of this unforgiving spirit, and fill me with a forgiving spirit.”

One man who prayed a similar prayer said, “I’ve got peace in my heart, and I’ve got love in my heart for those who have wronged me. One of the greatest possessions I own now is a forgiving heart.” His burden had been surrendered, and freedom was his.

Take a step . . .

Are you harboring an unforgiving spirit? What’s preventing you from letting it go? Remember, your unwillingness to forgive is harming you far more than the person who has made you angry. Give it to God and ask Him to cleanse your heart and free you to experience His love and grace.

This is a summary of Dr. Brandt’s message The Power of Forgiveness.

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Paul describes carnality this way: “For whereas there is among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal?” 1 Corinthians 3:3 (KJV).

Envy, strife and divisions can display themselves in all kinds of ways:  temper tantrums, blowing your top, crying, sulking, unresolved issues, even what many of us would like to call “self-expression.” These are often simply our own adjustments to carnality. A baby has temper tantrums, or pouts, or shows some other expression of being upset. That’s his way of talking, of expressing his feelings. But we all know that at some point adults need to “grow up” and stop displaying these kinds of behaviors.

To be living the abundant life, we all need a power that’s not our own. It’s called the work of the Holy Spirit, and it produces love and joy and peace and patience and gentleness and goodness and faithfulness and meekness and self-control.  When we are experiencing these qualities in our life, we are living spiritually.

We’re talking about your life as impacted by your relationship with the Lord.

Man was created to have fellowship with God. Because of his own stubborn self-will, he chose to go his own independent way, trying to reach the abundant life through his own efforts. Fellowship with God was broken and this self-will was characterized by an attitude of active rebellion or passive indifference.

A biblical tract entitled, “The Four Spiritual Laws” states:

“As there are physical laws that govern the physical universe, so there are spiritual laws that govern your relationship with God.”

The first spiritual law is, “God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life.” In John 3:16 (KJV), we read, “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

Jesus said “I came that they might have life, and have it abundantly” (John 10:10, NIV). Maybe you’re not experiencing this abundant life. You want it and you are seeking it, but you are not experiencing it.

Here’s the second law: “Man is sinful and separated from God and thus he cannot know and experience God’s love or His plan for his life.”

The third law gives us the only answer to this dilemma. “Jesus Christ is God’s only provision for man’s sin, and through Him, you can know and experience God’s love and plan for your life.”

God has bridged the chasm that separates us from Him by sending Jesus Christ to die on the cross in our place.

But it isn’t enough to know these three laws, there’s one more step. “We must individually receive Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord, and then we can know and experience God’s love and plan for our lives.”

“For as many as received Him, to them gave He power to become the sons of God, even to those who believe in His Name” (John 1:12, KJV).

Inviting Christ to come into your life makes the difference. Why? Because if you’re going to deal with your carnality, you need a power that is not your own. Jesus Christ is the resource that will help you in your human relations.

Take a step . . .

Be honest with yourself:  Are you living carnally or spiritually? Jesus is waiting to have a relationship with you. He is waiting to give you the abundant life you long for. Ask Jesus to come into your life and change you from the inside. He will help you in your human relations.

This is a summary from Dr. Brandt’s message Growing Up – 1.

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The one key factor that will enable you to do the things you should is to make sure your spiritual life is in good condition. If you neglect it, you’ll grow cold, and that will leave you feeling sadly empty inside.

If your spiritual life isn’t in good condition, and someone makes you angry, you may be able to suppress it and be nice, and then falsely call it “Christianity.” But the Christian life isn’t about perfecting your acting abilities, and pretending becomes awfully hard when you’re angry. You become tense and up tight inside and sooner or later, your anger bursts out in ways that hurt you and others around you.

Ephesians 4:31 offers a solution: “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you.” This requires a right spiritual condition.

The next verse pushes you to take another step, instructing you to “Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another.”

Your response to this teaching may well be, “But they don’t deserve it!”

Perhaps after considering these scriptures for some time, you decide the Bible is right, and choose to give it a try. But, to your surprise, you can’t do it! Why not? You need a Helper! You need Jesus Christ in your life!

2 Corinthians 3:4 tells us that, “Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves”

“Wait a minute,” you say. “There are lots of things I can do for myself – get an education, get a job, even get a promotion.”

Yes, you may be able to do these things without God’s help. But there’s one thing you cannot do without His help, and that’s control your soul. You can live up to the letter of the law, being nice and putting on a good face when you’re seething inside. But to have a kind spirit behind your niceness isn’t possible without God’s help.

The third chapter of 2nd Corinthians goes on in verses 5 and 6 to tell us: “Our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter, but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.” WOW!

You have to make a decision between acting and being. What will it be?

Take a step . . .

Take a moment to pray this prayer:

“Lord Jesus, please forgive my sins and come and live in my heart. I realize I am helpless without You. I need You in my life in order to experience peace. Give me Your love so I can love those around me. Help me to walk in the peace of Your Spirit. Amen.”

This summary is from Dr. Brandt’s audio message Peace.

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