“Give me a call–anytime,” he would say cheerfully to everyone visiting his office. Or, “You’ve got to come over to the house and tell me more about it.”

Some people took him up on his offers of hospitality. And there was the rub! His friendliness was an act. He didn’t really mean for business associates to call him–let alone drop in at his home. He was just making conversation.

Whenever trapped, he always had a way of getting out.

“I’d be glad to stop by some night,” a client would say in response to his invitation. “How about Thursday?”

“Sounds fine. But let me check with my wife’s plans and call you,” Charles would say. Not for a minute did he intend to have this guy taking up his evening.

The next day he would telephone the client to apologize. “Sorry, but my wife’s got me tied up with the PTA Thursday night. Let me contact you later.”

Why did he invite people to call or visit him? It was the polite thing to do. Why did he then lie to the one he had invited? He did not want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

But occasionally, Charles Cook could not get out of his self-made trap. He would have to play the role of genial host to people he did not like. His acting was superb. But what a distasteful way of life! Is there any wonder that he was an anxious, uneasy man? “Bread gained by deceit is sweet to a man, but afterward his mouth will be filled with gravel” (Proverbs 20:17).

Charles Cook imagined himself a cordial and polite individual because he sounded like one. But by his rationalization, he was covering up a basic dislike of people and had fooled even himself into thinking he was a congenial man.

He needed to face the fact that his geniality was only a front. But to deceive even himself was easier than squaring up with the truth. Yet he could not get away with his duplicity. “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7).

Charles had to make up his mind what he wanted in life–whether to be around people or not. If he wanted to accept others, he would need a change of heart. Whatever his decision, if he was to be free of his anxiety, his behavior had to be changed to match the desire of his heart.

This story is taken from Dr. Brandt’s book, “The Struggle for Inner Peace.” The names and certain details in this true case history have been changed to protect each person’s identity and privacy.

According to Proverbs 15:4 (KJV), “A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness there in is a breech in the spirit.” What does it mean to have a “wholesome” tongue? A tongue that speaks good of people and situations. A tongue that builds up people (yourself and others). A tongue that is gentle. A tongue that is kind. A tongue that builds others up.

Psalm 34:13-14(NIV) says, “Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceit. Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it.”

The Bible makes it very clear in Matthew 12:36 (NIV) that we need to be careful about the things that we say: “I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”

We all need to give a little more thought to what we say before we say it. “Biblical speech” involves applying God’s Word to our lives daily. It means we allow the principles of scripture to influence our words and how we use them. It means we build people up, we use words of challenge in loving ways, we use words of grace.

Proverbs 21:23 (NIV) gives good advice:  “He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.” Griping, grumbling, or complaining often don’t accomplish anything. And engaging in this kind of talk can also make you feel awful.

Titus 3:2 (NIV) instructs us “to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.”

According to God’s Word, our behavior and our words should reflect our devotion to God. We need to pay attention to the way we conduct ourselves! Our words impact our lives, the lives of others, and our relationship with God. Commit yourself to studying God’s Word and applying His principles to your speech.

Take a step . . .

Memorize Psalm 19:14 (NIV): “Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”

This is a summary from Dr. Brandt’s message Biblical Speech.

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Think of your favorite person. They have good points and faults. You don’t have problems with their strengths, but when they won’t do something that’s important to you, you have a choice to make. One of your options is to resent them, become bitter, and/or dwell on the fact that there’s some little thing this person isn’t doing that you want them to do, and it can ruin your relationship.

Dr. S. I. McMillian, a physician, in his book None of These Diseases, says, “The moment I start hating a man, I become his slave.”

Has this happened to you? A person you dislike begins to control your work time, pleasure time, sleep time, etc., because they’re controlling your thoughts. If you want to be free, and not be a slave to what others do, you need to be happily aware of the whole person, including his strong points and his weak points.

King Solomon must have had a similar experience, for he wrote in Proverbs 15:17, “Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred” (NIV).

The Apostle Paul, trying to be helpful to his friends, the Corinthians, said to them, “I brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal” (1 Corinthians 3:1, KJV). In verse 3, he describes what he means: “Is there envying?” That is, if you’re annoyed, disgruntled and uncomfortable over somebody else’s success, opportunities, or their wealth, and you can’t enjoy these folks because you envy them, that’s carnality. Carnal behavior also displays itself through arguing, quarreling, striving, divisions, and unresolved conflicts.

We need to live our lives “spiritually” – as men and women who have at our fingertips, in our inner lives, the resources of God.

Maybe you’re crying out to God for help, and He doesn’t seem to hear you.

Isaiah 59:1-2 says, “The Lord’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; neither is his ear heavy, that it cannot hear” (KJV). He does hear you!

Approach God, not in terms of telling Him about someone else, but in terms of yourself.

Isaiah 53:6 (KJV) says, “All we like sheep have gone astray; and we have turned everyone to his own way.” Do things always have to be your way? The remainder of this verse says, “The Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.” Jesus has paid for our selfishness and desire to always have life on our terms.

Each person needs to come face-to-face with the fact that each one of us has a tendency to want our own way. And the only way to deal with that tendency is to come to Jesus Christ. That’s why we need a Savior – to be saved from ourselves, from having our own way.

Take a step . . .

If you haven’t already done so, invite Jesus Christ to come into your life as your Savior. Confess wanting to have things your own way, asking God to forgive you. Ask God to fill you with the Holy Spirit and to give you the power to let go of your tendency to want your own way.

[Go to Discover Inner Peace]

Paul describes carnality this way: “For whereas there is among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal?” 1 Corinthians 3:3 (KJV).

Envy, strife and divisions can display themselves in all kinds of ways:  temper tantrums, blowing your top, crying, sulking, unresolved issues, even what many of us would like to call “self-expression.” These are often simply our own adjustments to carnality. A baby has temper tantrums, or pouts, or shows some other expression of being upset. That’s his way of talking, of expressing his feelings. But we all know that at some point adults need to “grow up” and stop displaying these kinds of behaviors.

To be living the abundant life, we all need a power that’s not our own. It’s called the work of the Holy Spirit, and it produces love and joy and peace and patience and gentleness and goodness and faithfulness and meekness and self-control.  When we are experiencing these qualities in our life, we are living spiritually.

We’re talking about your life as impacted by your relationship with the Lord.

Man was created to have fellowship with God. Because of his own stubborn self-will, he chose to go his own independent way, trying to reach the abundant life through his own efforts. Fellowship with God was broken and this self-will was characterized by an attitude of active rebellion or passive indifference.

A biblical tract entitled, “The Four Spiritual Laws” states:

“As there are physical laws that govern the physical universe, so there are spiritual laws that govern your relationship with God.”

The first spiritual law is, “God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life.” In John 3:16 (KJV), we read, “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

Jesus said “I came that they might have life, and have it abundantly” (John 10:10, NIV). Maybe you’re not experiencing this abundant life. You want it and you are seeking it, but you are not experiencing it.

Here’s the second law: “Man is sinful and separated from God and thus he cannot know and experience God’s love or His plan for his life.”

The third law gives us the only answer to this dilemma. “Jesus Christ is God’s only provision for man’s sin, and through Him, you can know and experience God’s love and plan for your life.”

God has bridged the chasm that separates us from Him by sending Jesus Christ to die on the cross in our place.

But it isn’t enough to know these three laws, there’s one more step. “We must individually receive Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord, and then we can know and experience God’s love and plan for our lives.”

“For as many as received Him, to them gave He power to become the sons of God, even to those who believe in His Name” (John 1:12, KJV).

Inviting Christ to come into your life makes the difference. Why? Because if you’re going to deal with your carnality, you need a power that is not your own. Jesus Christ is the resource that will help you in your human relations.

Take a step . . .

Be honest with yourself:  Are you living carnally or spiritually? Jesus is waiting to have a relationship with you. He is waiting to give you the abundant life you long for. Ask Jesus to come into your life and change you from the inside. He will help you in your human relations.

This is a summary from Dr. Brandt’s message Growing Up – 1.

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The one key factor that will enable you to do the things you should is to make sure your spiritual life is in good condition. If you neglect it, you’ll grow cold, and that will leave you feeling sadly empty inside.

If your spiritual life isn’t in good condition, and someone makes you angry, you may be able to suppress it and be nice, and then falsely call it “Christianity.” But the Christian life isn’t about perfecting your acting abilities, and pretending becomes awfully hard when you’re angry. You become tense and up tight inside and sooner or later, your anger bursts out in ways that hurt you and others around you.

Ephesians 4:31 offers a solution: “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you.” This requires a right spiritual condition.

The next verse pushes you to take another step, instructing you to “Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another.”

Your response to this teaching may well be, “But they don’t deserve it!”

Perhaps after considering these scriptures for some time, you decide the Bible is right, and choose to give it a try. But, to your surprise, you can’t do it! Why not? You need a Helper! You need Jesus Christ in your life!

2 Corinthians 3:4 tells us that, “Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves”

“Wait a minute,” you say. “There are lots of things I can do for myself – get an education, get a job, even get a promotion.”

Yes, you may be able to do these things without God’s help. But there’s one thing you cannot do without His help, and that’s control your soul. You can live up to the letter of the law, being nice and putting on a good face when you’re seething inside. But to have a kind spirit behind your niceness isn’t possible without God’s help.

The third chapter of 2nd Corinthians goes on in verses 5 and 6 to tell us: “Our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter, but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.” WOW!

You have to make a decision between acting and being. What will it be?

Take a step . . .

Take a moment to pray this prayer:

“Lord Jesus, please forgive my sins and come and live in my heart. I realize I am helpless without You. I need You in my life in order to experience peace. Give me Your love so I can love those around me. Help me to walk in the peace of Your Spirit. Amen.”

This summary is from Dr. Brandt’s audio message Peace.

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